Wednesday, October 04, 2006

P is for Permit

Hi my name is Nancy, I am 37 years old and I still have a learner's permit:

doesn't it look like it should be a mug shot?

This means that I can only be a passenger or a pedestrian and frankly its also means I am just the tiniest bit pathetic.

When Avery was born I took lessons to learn to drive. I had a learner's permit years before but I never did anything with it and it had expired. I decided that having a child meant I needed to drive (at the time Rinaldo didn't know how to drive either, damn NYC kids that we were). I took lessons. I did ok. I first took the exam on the Monday after I had returned from my first trip to Florida. While I was gone my cat had gotten very ill and he had to be put to sleep that weekend. At the same time my mother's cat had also taken ill and had to be put to sleep, same weekend, same day as a matter of fact. Yeah it sucked. I was in no shape to take the exam but I had no choice. I failed miserably.

I continued with my lessons and took another shot at it. I did my parallel parking fine, my broken U was decent but I had huge issues with turning corners. I was either too wide or too tight. Since I was taking the exam in Yonkers, not NYC it was right on red and my hesitance totally screwed me. Strike two.

I tried to take lessons again. I even changed schools but the impulse was gone. I said that since I had no access to a car to practice on there was no way I could pass. So I gave up.

When Ian was born Rinaldo decided to try. He took to it like a duck to water. By this point we had friends who were willing to rent a car so he could practice. Rinaldo got his license. I figured, "cool now we have a car it will be easier to learn" but I still haven't. At first Rinaldo freaked me out about the insurance rates. He was paying very high rates on our first car since he was such a new driver and he kept joking that we wouldn't be able to afford it if I got my license (at that point my learner's permit had expired yet again). Then I just got lazy. Then last year we had the accident. It wasn't bad but it's made me very nervous in the car since I was the only one who could see the other car coming. Now I'm just fucking freaked out about the whole thing. I'm afraid my nerves would make me a horrible driver.

Now another expiration date looms, will I make another attempt this winter so at least I can say I tried or is it over and I will never be a driver? My only comfort is the fact that I'm not the only Bronx Girl who can't drive...