Monday, January 22, 2007

Well last week was a little bit of hell, there was an incident at Ian's school that I won't go into but it made the teachers want to act on getting his case re-opened for Special Ed. We have all agreed that he should repeat kindergarten and that he should do so in a Special Ed setting. For whatever reason the class he is in is doing nothing for him and in fact he is regressing quite a bit within the classroom. Thankfully there is no evidence of it outside of school. In the meantime we're trying to get the school to agree to letting him only attend for a half day. His problems seem to be mostly severe anxiety but couple that with his speech issues and it's a recipe for disaster. I just don't want this year to leave any scars on him so I'm hoping half days will make it easier for him to get through. Once the assessments are all done and CSE agrees to the teacher's recommendations we will have to decide if we should put him in an entirely new school. Thankfully the special ed teacher will be cycling back to kindergarten in September so he can stay if want him to but right now I'm feeling a bit betrayed by the school so I'm not sure staying is the best thing. We'll see.

This whole thing made me such a freakin' ball of anxiety. I was seriously contemplating going to see my dr. for some kind of medication. I was up at 3AM every night and I couldn't stop ruminating on the whole thing. It did ease up over the weekend although this is Ian's first day back at school (the incident stemmed from him becoming ill at school) so the pit in my stomach has made a return. It is the most difficult thing being responsible for someone else's life and what will become of it. The husband brought up some interesting things about why I handle this kind of thing so badly or I guess cope with it so badly. My life as a child was filled with chaos. There was no order to it and so as an adult I crave order above all else. When you have kids that is not to be especially one with special needs. So when crises arrive I kind of flip out internally. Thankfully I can navigate them fairly well so others don't notice much but inside I'm torn to shreds. I'm not sure that there's anything to be done about it, it's just the way it is.

In the meantime I knit...

...Ian loves his hat:
...although you can see by his eyes he's had quite a rough week too...

Here it is from the side:
I'm pleased with it overall but I really need to figure out a better way to do ear flaps,I'm not crazy about the way they came out. If I had my way I would take them off and make the brim longer instead. The hat is not mine however and it's recipient loves the earflaps just the way they are:D

In the midst of drama I crave comfort knitting so I went stash diving and came up with some Morehouse Merino I had bought for a Clapotis 2 years ago. I cast on yesterday and here's where I am this morning:

This was supposed to be a Christmas present for Rinaldo's boss the year I bought it, but that was the winter my mother died so I swore off all holiday knitting that year. Now it will be a "just because" present.

I also decided it was time for a change of hair:

The picture sucks, since the 3-5 lbs I put back on seem to all be in my face and I am paler than I could ever get when I used to use make-up for just that purpose, but I'm liking the hair.

Here's to wishing for a better week...